The day I was so afraid of has become one of the happiest days since I had discovered my illness. I went with Moran to the wig shop intending to remove my hair that was about to fall out soon enough. I hesitated whether to remove all of it or leave a short haircut. "The only difference are the clips" said Ronit the hairdresser. Really? So please bring me the clips that enable the wig to attach to real hair, and fix me up with a nice haircut so I can wear the wig only when needed. After all, religious girls wear wigs over their natural hair all the time, no?
"Make it a "Barbara" haircut", said Rivka the owner. And Ronit cut it short at the back leaving a respectable mane of hair in the front, one that makes my head looks fresh and young - the spitting image of my son Yossi who will turn 15 soon. I personally cut his hair a month ago and was amazed to discover a beautiful young man hidden underneath very long hair which had reached the length of a woman's hair, and, which covered his face and gave him the look of an introverted and withdrawn child .
And so it happened to me, who never dared to change and shorten my hair style, to stare at my completely new image, and receive compliments from all around me. I even forgot the actual reason we were gathered here today ....
Once again I made a switch in my mind. I am now having a haircut, though, also taking a wig as a backup. This new hairstyle will last for Passover eve, and probably the rest of the holidays. For two weeks I will be able to enjoy my new image. Grab compliments, enjoy the moment and not think about the time when it will all disappear for a while, until it grows back again. I went happily with Moran to a coffeeshop, my new hairstyle grants me a special mood, and I had dared to be happy.
We came back for the final measurements of the wig, giving it a nice hairstyle. Reluctantly, I decided to go out with the wig and to show up at home to present it to my mother, Eli and the kids. Then - in front of everyone - I pulled it off my head revealing the real surprise - my new hairstyle which appealed to everyone.
The final days before the holiday were good. I could hardly sense the chemotherapy in my body. I had enough energy to do the final polishing up of the house for the holiday. I felt good and I was happy.
I thank God who gave me strength and energy to enjoy the holiday. To be able to show off my strength, and to prove it was not fake, but, was the result of truly feeling good, both mentally and physically. The road is not too difficult, for now. I have nothing to complain about.
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